What to write here?
I have to agree with MaestroRage that this song, and all your songs so far lack transitions. Transitions make the song sound much more professional, without them it sounds sketchy and chaotic. This song btw has some interesting sounds, the instruments are quite unusual which adds a lot to originality. I like the way they are quiet yet technoey, creating a soft chillout feeling. I can hear you have potential but you do need practice. You could also try listening to ng songs from the genre which you want to make music in, to get some ideas or learn about the tricks of the trade. I also do that sometimes.